is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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