how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize