Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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