question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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