oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
