I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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