Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
