it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
