The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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