You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
