We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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