the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize