Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I want a musical about memes.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize