I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
