If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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