I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
