she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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