I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.