he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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