Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
