Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
How naked do you want me to be?
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