woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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