'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
