Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
