Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
