ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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