Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
