she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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