I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
