just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
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Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
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She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.