Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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