If that was your dad, he is hot
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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