HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
