He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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