I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
