Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.