i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?