Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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