what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
