so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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