I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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