Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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