..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize