Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
