so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
