glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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