Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
