Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
