: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
