I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
