So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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