forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
