and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
