i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize