YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
