you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
